My quiet inner struggle

As many of you can attest to, I have a rather big mouth. I have demonstrated many times that I'm not afraid to use it, but there is something I have been silent on too long- My rights as a human being. There are two things I have been struggling with lately that I wish to share...

I have never once complained that I can't marry the person of my choosing. I have accepted that maybe later in my life, this whole brouhaha will simmer down, and then maybe I can be afforded the same rights as straight couples. People at work have asked me what I have to say on this very touchy subject, and the answer is nothing. I will not allow my personal opinion on this issue change the relationship dynamics I have with my coworkers. One of the things that kills me the most is the people that are "upholding the sanctity of marriage" are the same ones defiling it. Britney Spears gets her quickie Vegas marriage annulled in 55 hours, Larry Craig (Straight, republican senator) is trying to get laid in a bathroom stall, and Carrie Prejean is too busy spouting off her religious beliefs to notice her own MANY faults.

I have never once complained that I am not allowed to give blood. With yet another blood drive coming up at work, I have been asked 3 times this week if I'm giving blood. My answer has been the same politcally correct one every time: According to the FDA, as a gay man, I am not allowed to give blood (look it up if you don't believe me). Nevermind that my blood type is O- (aka universal donor) and is compatible with every other blood type out there. The stigma surround gay sex is still very prevalent, and horribly obvious in the medical field. nurses who are afraid of HIV+ patients, outpatient clinics that refuse treatment to homosexual men, etc. This is yet another part of my life I've come to accept as never changing.

Well, to sum it up, I feel like I needed to tell you these things so the inner turmoil can cease. But once again, that's part of my life I've come to accept as never changing.

Once a bitch...

Ok, so I'm the person responsible for posting the Wal-Mart Stealing the Baby post on Reddit.com. I wouldn't have posted this story if I didn't have a genuine interest in it.

I subscribed to the woman's blog on myspace in order to keep up with what was going on. I noticed that she made her profile private so only people on her friends list could read her blog.

I sent her this message:

From: Dustin
Date: 16 Sep 2007, 07:48 PM


I'm just curious what's going on with Wal-Mart... I was subscribed to your blog, but since your profile is private, I can't see it anymore :( Wanna be friends :)

Dustin

She responded with this:

From: The Girl, Stacy...
Date: Sep 16, 2007 6:01 PM


Why because your curious about my Walmart case.... or because you really want to be friends?

And then I responded with this:

From: Dustin
Date: 17 Sep 2007, 12:35 AM


Well, only people on your friends list can read your blog when your profile is set to private.

I've taken an interest in your situation with Wal-Mart, and I've actually been there from the start. I am the one who posted your story on Reddit.com last week (a user-based news aggregator similar to Digg.com).

http://reddit.com/info/2oa0h/comments

If I am bothering you, I'm sorry. I'm more than happy to let you be. I'm sure you're a busy girl now that this story has reached monstrous proportions!

Whatever your response, I just want to let you know I support you 110%. You did not overreact, it was clear you were cooperative, and you only reacted with the same instincts any mother would have when the safety of her child was jeopardized.

Dustin.

Then she decided to take out a little anger on me this morning:

From: The Girl, Stacy...
Date: Sep 17, 2007 4:46 AM


and people like you are exactly what i dont want reading my profile.

did it ever occur to you to ask me if it was ok? did it ever occur to you what would happen?

i have publicly been bashed, beaten, and bruised. thanks so much dustin! your exactly who i want as a friend.

i have blogged for 2 years and before this no one read them other than my friends and family...

its people like you that make others miserable!

I sent her this reply, but don't expect to hear from her again:

I don't know if you read this paragraph in my last message:

Whatever your response, I just want to let you know I support you 110%. You did not overreact, it was clear you were cooperative, and you only reacted with the same instincts any mother would have when the safety of her child was jeopardized.

I think it's clear that I'm concerned about YOU, and nothing else.

If you want to play the blame game, start with the family and friends who got this story out to begin with. If they're the only ones that read your blog, then logically one of them are responsible for the world knowing about it.

I posted your story because I support you, not because I wanted you publicly ridiculed. I apologize for any ill effect I caused.

Dustin

Monster's Canned Privacy Response

Dear Valued Monster Customer,

Protecting the job seekers who use our website is a top priority, and we value the trust you place in Monster. Regrettably, opportunistic criminals are increasingly using the Internet for illegitimate purposes. As is the case with many companies that maintain large databases of information, Monster is from time to time subject to attempts to illegally extract information from its database.

As you may be aware, the Monster resume database was recently the target of malicious activity that involved the illegal downloading of information such as names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses for some of our job seekers with resumes posted on Monster sites. Monster responded to this specific incident by conducting a comprehensive review of internal processes and procedures, notified those job seekers that their contact records had been downloaded illegally, and shut down a rogue server that was hosting these records.

The Company has determined that this incident is not the first time Monster's database has been the target of criminal activity. Due to the significant amount of uncertainty in determining which individual job seekers may have been impacted, Monster felt that it was in your best interest to take the precautionary steps of reaching out to you and all Monster job seekers regarding this issue. Monster believes illegally downloaded contact information may be used to lure job seekers into opening a "phishing" email that attempts to acquire financial information or lure job seekers into fraudulent financial transactions. This has been the case in similar attacks on other websites.

We want to inform you about preventive measures you can take to protect yourself from online fraud. While no company can completely prevent unauthorized access to data, we believe that by reaching out to job seekers like you, the Company can help users better defend themselves against those who have attacked Monster as well as other databases.

We are committed to maintaining an ongoing dialogue with all of our job seekers about Internet security and the steps Monster is taking to protect its job seekers. The Company has placed a security alert on Monster sites offering information to educate you about online fraud. This information can be found at http://help.monster.com/besafe/. We have also included information on Internet safety and examples of fraudulent "phishing" emails at the bottom of this letter.

Monster has launched a series of initiatives to enhance and to protect the information you have entrusted to us. Some of these steps are being immediately implemented, while others will be put into place as appropriate.

We believe these actions are the responsible steps to protect the trust you place in Monster. We are also working with Monster's hundreds of thousands of employer customers to ensure a safe and effective online job search. We will continue to share information with you about the enhancements we are making as we serve as your online career resource partner. We invite you to keep reading to learn more about how to use the Internet safely.


Sincerely,

Sal Iannuzzi
Chairman and CEO
Monster Worldwide


HOW TO BE A SAFE INTERNET USER

Every Internet site in the world is facing the growing issue of fraudulent usage of information, and we want to work with users around the world to stop this practice - please keep reading to learn more about the warning signs and what you can do.

Spam email is such a common occurrence today; you may think you know what to look for. But there are two types of email scams - what's known as "phishing" and "spoofing" - that can be more difficult to identify. Both practices concern fraudulent email where the 'from address' has been forged to make it appear as if it came from somewhere, or someone, other than the actual source. Below are the warning signs to look for:

What's "phishing" all about – and how do I spot it?

Phishing emails are used to fraudulently obtain personal identification and account information. They can also be used to lure the recipient into downloading malicious software. The message will often suggest there are issues with the recipient's account that requires immediate attention. A link will also be provided to a spoof website where the recipient will be asked to provide personal/account information or download malicious software. Monster will never ask you to download software in order to access your account or use our services.

How is it different than "spoofing"?

Spoof emails often include a fraudulent offer of employment and/or the invitation to serve as a go-between for payment processing or money transfers. This scam is primarily directed at a general audience, but it can also reach Monster members who have included contact information on their resumes. Like with phishing emails, the sender's address is often disguised.

Examples of fraudulent email:

These examples of fraudulent email show you what to watch out for (click to see details):






Consumer Advice: How to Avoid Phishing Scams

The number and sophistication of phishing scams sent out to consumers is continuing to increase dramatically. While online banking and e-commerce is very safe, as a general rule you should be careful about giving out your personal financial information over the Internet. The Anti-Phishing Working Group has compiled a list of recommendations that you can use to avoid becoming a victim of these scams.

Be suspicious of any email with requests for personal financial information.

Phishers typically include upsetting or exciting (but false) statements in their emails to get people to react immediately.

They typically ask for information such as usernames, passwords, credit card numbers, social security numbers, date of birth, etc.

Don't use the links in an email, instant message, or chat to get to any web page if you suspect the message might not be authentic.

Instead, call the company on the telephone, or log onto the website directly by typing in the Web address in your browser.

You should only communicate information such as credit card numbers or account information via a secure website or the telephone.

Always ensure that you're using a secure website when submitting credit card or other sensitive information via your Web browser.


Additional consumer advice is available at http://www.antiphishing.org/consumer_recs.html.
If you have more questions, please visit http://help.monster.com/besafe.
Contact us athttp://www.monster.com/contact.

Monster respects your online time and privacy. This is a service-related email to notify you of important account information.

Questions? Email us directly by visiting http://www.monster.com/contact/. Please do not reply to this email.

To read the Monster Privacy Commitment, visit http://about.monster.com/privacy/

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